I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
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I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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