If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I wear drunk well.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
