White coat. Heels.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
