I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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