dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
