You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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