11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize