im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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