i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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