Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize