That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
