She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
