chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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