It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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