one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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