Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
do nipples grow back?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
