non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
