Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
