called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
