Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
