fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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