dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
