he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You were trust falling into bushes
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
