and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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