Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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