You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
