Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
