I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
