whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
