it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Semen is not good for contacts.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
