I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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