By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
