how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
