do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
