dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
