She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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