was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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