You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
