Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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