whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
