ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
