after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You brought string cheese to the strip club
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
