is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
