hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
