yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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