it's not cheating when I paid for it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
