I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
