He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
