She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize