Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
