come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
