Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
