I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
