My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize