when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
