I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
