"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
