just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize