i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
