i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize